Thursday, March 12, 2009

Proper use of Subway Advertisements

For those of us who are very old and are now a participating cog in society, we know that drinking has become at least partially medicinal - doing it on the train is probably the only way to replicate the feeling of adventurous adolescent boozing.  Hobos and newly arrived immigrants have the right idea.

Honesty will compel you to admit that boozing was more fun when the Man was keeping you down.  Clanking bottles in your schoolbag and avoiding the parent(s) when you get home = nostalgia.  Now, nobody cares if you come home stinking of gin and fear.  On the subway, the Man is always keeping you down.  Holding you down by the back of your neck while simultaneously counting your money and penetrating you.

The moral of the story is this:  subway advertisements are there for you to steal when you are very drunk late at night with friends.  Later, when the economy finally gets you, your poster collection can be used to cover your head from the cold November rain. 


  1. "that guy's gonna die soon" - "why do you say that?" - "because when people are about to die, they start to suck up to jesus"