Thursday, April 30, 2009

A word on who exactly works for the MTA organization:

The Metropolitan Transit Authority company is comprised entirely of only children. You know, offspring who grew up without siblings, generally spoiled rotten by parents, and consequently vessels of extreme socialization issues? Right. These are the men and women making the decisions, pulling the strings, manning the labor, behind all MTA actions and endeavors. Once this knowledge is assimilated into your perspective, it may be easier to understand how the MTA has had the guts to do what it has done and when.
The average life-cycle of an MTA employee goes something like this:

1. Born as a single child
2. Weird socialization tendencies develop, such as: snatching things out of other kids' hands; eating all the cookies in the cookie jar; chasing pet hamster around cage with magnifying glass at 3pm when the sun is just right; eventually letting same hamster die of toxicity from living in overwhelming amounts of own excrement due to lack of cage maintenance
3. Mating with sheep
4. Gainful employment at MTA (world-wide recession ensues)
5. Mating with pig (Swine-flu pandemic becomes imminent)
6. MTA promotion and pay-raise

So don't take it personally when the MTA shits all over you. It's just that they don't know any better. They were raised by parents who either didn't really want them, or were too stupid to have more children. MTA is only the unfortunate side effect of poor parenting.

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